Supporting Family Caregivers Through the Dementia Journey: Insights from Tami Anastasia

Written By Jake Nelson

Alzheimer’s and Dementia Caregiver Support

Caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia can be overwhelming. The changes in behavior, the shifting family roles, and the emotional toll can leave caregivers feeling isolated and unsure where to turn. In a recent episode of SYNERGY Sessions: Aging Smarter in Silicon Valley, Tom Nelson sat down with Tami Anastasia — dementia consultant, educator, and author — to discuss practical strategies for supporting family caregivers and enhancing care for loved ones living with dementia.

Tami’s expertise spans more than 30 years, and she works with caregivers across Santa Clara County, San Mateo County, and beyond, providing counseling, dementia guidance, and emotional support. Her mission is to equip caregivers with the tools, knowledge, and emotional resilience they need.

Understanding Dementia vs. Alzheimer’s

Tami explains that dementia is a general term for cognitive impairment severe enough to interfere with daily life. Alzheimer’s disease is the most common type of dementia, but there are many others, including vascular dementia, Lewy body dementia, and frontotemporal dementia.

Key distinctions caregivers should know:

  • Dementia refers to a group of symptoms affecting memory, thinking, and social abilities.

  • Alzheimer’s is a specific disease and the leading cause of dementia, characterized primarily by short-term memory loss.

  • Other types of dementia have unique hallmarks, such as slowed thinking, hallucinations, or pronounced personality changes.

Knowing the type of dementia helps tailor care strategies and set realistic expectations.


Early Warning Signs to Watch For

While occasional forgetfulness is normal, Tami encourages caregivers to watch for signs that could indicate dementia:

  • Getting lost in familiar places

  • Inability to follow familiar recipes or complete routine tasks

  • Decline in personal hygiene

  • Difficulty managing appointments or finances

  • Stacks of unpaid bills or excessive clutter

  • Repetitive questions or conversations

Before assuming dementia, it is essential to rule out other causes such as urinary tract infections, vitamin deficiencies, dehydration, or sleep disorders, which can mimic dementia symptoms.

Common Myths About Dementia

Many caregivers misunderstand certain behaviors, leading to unnecessary frustration. Tami dispels three common myths:

  1. “They are in denial.” In reality, damage to the brain can impair self-awareness, a condition called anosognosia.

  2. “They are lying or manipulative.” Dementia can cause confabulations (false memories the person believes are real).

  3. “They don’t care anymore.” A blank facial expression may be due to apathy caused by brain changes, not indifference.

Recognizing these truths helps caregivers respond with compassion rather than anger.


The Emotional Side of Caregiving

For many adult children or spouses, caregiving brings role reversals and intense emotions. Tami’s counseling approach helps caregivers:

  • Identify emotional triggers

  • Process feelings of grief, guilt, or resentment

  • Develop coping strategies that preserve their own mental and physical health

  • Plan for care transitions, whether through in-home care or community-based support

One of the most important takeaways is that caregiving should never be done alone. Accepting help early often leads to better outcomes for both the caregiver and their loved one.


Caregiver Guilt: A Major Barrier to Support

Caregiver guilt can prevent people from bringing in help, even when they are overwhelmed. Common concerns include fear of letting their loved one down, worry about angering them, or feeling they are “giving up.” Tami coaches clients through this guilt, helping them see that bringing in care is an act of love and responsibility.

She also emphasizes the importance of pacing changes at a rate the caregiver can emotionally handle, while keeping the loved one’s safety in mind.

Practical Steps for Caregivers

Tami outlines a three-step approach to starting the dementia care journey:

  1. Acknowledge your limitations. Give yourself permission to feel your emotions and to ask for help.

  2. Research available resources. Look into local community programs, faith-based organizations, and professional services such as SYNERGY HomeCare of Silicon Valley.

  3. Be strategic in introducing support. Use language and approaches that are comfortable for your loved one, and avoid overwhelming them with abrupt changes.


Healing Through the Dementia Journey

Tami encourages caregivers to learn about their loved one’s past, as unresolved trauma or history can influence present behaviors. This deeper understanding can lead to meaningful connections and even healing for both the caregiver and the person with dementia.

She shares stories of helping care communities adapt communication to meet emotional needs, sometimes giving individuals positive messages they may never have received earlier in life. This human connection can be one of the most profound aspects of the dementia journey.


Connect with Tami Anastasia

Tami offers private counseling sessions, dementia education, and support groups online and in person. Her book, Essential Strategies for the Dementia Caregiver: Learning to Pace Yourself, is a valuable guide for anyone navigating this journey.

Contact Tami:

Follow Tami on social media:

SYNERGY HomeCare: Your Partner in Care

At SYNERGY HomeCare of Silicon Valley, we understand that caregiving is both rewarding and demanding. Our mission is to provide dependable, compassionate in-home care throughout Santa Clara County, San Mateo County, and the greater Silicon Valley area. Whether your loved one needs assistance with daily activities, companionship, or specialized dementia care, our trained caregivers are here to help.

Our services include:

  • Personal care (bathing, dressing, grooming)

  • Meal preparation and light housekeeping

  • Transportation and errands

  • Respite care for family caregivers

  • Specialized Alzheimer’s and dementia care

If you are a family caregiver in Silicon Valley, Santa Clara County, or San Mateo County, you do not have to navigate the challenges of dementia care alone.


Reach out to Tami Anastasia for personalized guidance, or contact SYNERGY HomeCare of Silicon Valley to learn how our in-home care services can support you and your loved one.


Resources and References

Tami Anastasia:
https://www.tamianastasia.com/
https://www.tamianastasia.com/book

Alzheimer’s Association:
https://www.alz.org/

National Institute on Aging – Alzheimer’s Disease Information:
https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/alzheimers

SYNERGY HomeCare of Silicon Valley:
https://www.synergyhomecareofsiliconvalley.com/

Jake Nelson
Next

Finding Comfort, Connection, and Routine: How Hearts and Minds Activity Center Supports Families Facing Dementia